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I Deleted All My Amazon Reviews

As some of you might already know, I got my start as Reviewy McReviewface doing reviews on Amazon. At first, I just wrote funny (to me, at least) reviews of small products that I had purchased. Once I grew a little, I started getting offers to review items in exchange for a free sample. At the time, Amazon was okay with this, so long as you clearly stated that you had received a free sample within the text of your review.

Then, the Reviewpocalypse happened, and Amazon panicked. They altered their Terms of Service to outlaw any “incentivized” reviews. So, I stopped doing reviews for samples. Easy enough. But other reviewers started having their accounts closed. I figured, they were probably still at the old game, despite the new rules.

Next came the Big Shutdown, where literally thousands of accounts across different Amazon platforms were locked down, without notice or warning. Mine was one of them.

I called to ask what had happened, and was told it was an error. Give it a few days, and my account would be re-activated.

Nearly a month later, I got the email. Terminated due to non-compliance with the TOS. I called again. Was I being suspended for activities that, at the time, were allowed?

After the second call, my account was reopened, but there was no apology, and the damage was done. My subscription of diapers that had been going to a local shelter? Cancelled, so they went without the donation for a month. My Prime account on Twitch? Cancelled, so my free subscription to a charity gaming channel went unpaid. Oh, and my paid Prime account? Rendered useless for a month, but no refund or credit was offered.

So, what can I do? I’m not going to be able to organize a mass boycott of Amazon, because to be frank, no one is going to get all up in arms for my situation – and honestly, we’re all still going to shop there.

So, instead, I removed all of my reviews. You can see what’s left at Note, I’ve already dropped to below 60,000!

They told me that my freely provided content was the reason for my account closure. 249 reviews, 700 upvotes, nearly 50,000 words of content that was handed to them, at no cost. All of it honest, even the “incentivized” ones. If you looked, there were plenty of low scores in my reviews.

So, I’m taking back my content. If you want to read a few, they’re on my website at

But they won’t be on Amazon.

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